List of rules for dating my teenage daughter

You learn what to say when you walk up to meet her, things that actually are proven to work.

This ebook gives real examples of interactions and explains why they work.

The reason is simple: he expresses something very true in a very funny way, examining just what happens when Daddy's little girl becomes a teenager.

Beginning with the warning signs (#5: Your car insurance suddenly costs more than the car), the book covers dating (Rule #2: Keep your hands and eyes off my daughter's body or I will remove them), the telephone (seemingly wired to her nervous system), braces (the costliest metal on earth), the first job, and more.

Original Episode # Prod # Air Date Titles _____ ______ ___________ ___________ ___________________________________________ Season 1 1.

1-28 20 May 03 Sort of an Officer and a Gentleman: Part 2 Season 2 29.

Bruce Cameron Please do not remove the copyright from this essay When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend? But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi.

s father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter? He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter? If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.

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I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:- Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.- Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.- Places where there is darkness.- Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.- Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.- Hockey games are okay.- Old folks homes are better. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? 1-27 13 May 03 Sort of an Officer and a Gentleman: Part 1 28. 2-9 23 Dec 03 The Story of Anne Frank and Skeevy 38.

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